BOOFDA

itsalwayssunny:

Dennis: If he starts banging Aunt Donna, we’re gonna have the Garbage Pail cousin in the mix.
Dee: NO! No!
Charlie: Whoa. Who’s the Garbage Pail cousin?
Dennis: Gail the Snail is the Garbage Pail cousin.
Dee: Oh, Charlie, she is the worst. We’d have these family parties and she’d just glob on to me and Dennis. Oh she woul— couldn’t get rid of her!
Dennis: The only way to get rid of her was to torture her and that’s what we did.
Dee: Yeah. We’d throw her in the dryer, we’d throw salt on her.
Dennis: Yeah, we’d throw salt on her. ‘Cause she was the snail.
Dee: Get it?
Dennis: You throw salt on a snail and…
Dee: It’s supposed to shrivel up.
Charlie: Well, that sounds a little messed up though, huh?
Dee: You don’t think we’re proud of that, do you, Charlie? You don’t understand, that’s the only way you can handle her.
Dennis: Yeah, she made us do those things. And quite frankly, I resent her for it. What kind of a person salts another human being.
Dee: It’s terrible.
Dennis: There’s no joy in salting someone. Everyone loses.